Trauma Is Not Your Destiny

Surviving trauma is one thing. Learning to thrive beyond it is another.

Healing from trauma is a complex process that is not always as straightforward as we hope, but recovery is possible with the right help.

Some of the signs of trauma include:

Emotional Impacts: This can be anxiety, depression, emotional numbness and PTSD.

Cognitive Struggles: This can be seen as difficulty focusing, making decisions and memory challenges.

Physical Symptoms: This can be show up as chronic pain, fatigue and sleep disturbances.

Relationship Challenges: Trauma can rear its ugly head as trust issues, isolation or troubles with intimacy.

Self-Image and Self-Perception: This can show up as guilt, shame and low self-worth.

There are many great paths to healing.  Having experienced healing in my own life and after helping so many others experience this type of healing, I can assure you that if you have the determination to see it through, you can heal in the long-run.  Below are several different ways to walk the road of healing from trauma:

Therapy Approaches: EMDR (to desensitize around the trauma), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (to change your thinking around it)  and Somatic Approaches (finding the trauma within the body) as well as group therapy approaches if that type of environment works for you.

Self-Regulation Approaches: Mindfulness Exercises, Grounding and Meditation Techniques, and there are other body-based, breathing approaches such as doing yoga or Tai Chi or just going to the gym and exercising.

Creative Outlets: This includes Art Therapy, Journaling and Musical Expression (just signing it out…one of my personal favorites!).

Emotional Release: This includes some Somatic Approaches as well as using approaches like the Emotion Code to identify and release trapped and repressed emotions that were stuffed down within the body.

The important thing to remember about healing from trauma is that it is not always a perfect process.  It is hardly ever a linear process.  It often looks like taking two steps forward and one step backwards.  It takes time and only succeeds when we give ourselves the time and space to heal and when we seek out help from friends and family as well as trained professionals.  The bottom line is that you can heal from trauma.  It is not only possible, but I want to remind you that you are worth the effort.

source https://www.lifesworkclinic.com/trauma-is-not-your-destiny/

The True Cost of Stigma

In my counseling practice, I often connect with people who have no experience with getting help.  Many times, when I answer a phone call, the person on the other end is reaching out for the first time in their life.  It’s a big moment.

When we struggle with mental health challenges, we often feel alone.  Sometimes, we feel like we have got to be the only person who is struggling with anxiety, depression or feelings of being overwhelmed.  Maybe, someone in our life told us that it’s a sign of weakness or a character defect to suffer from mental health challenges.  Maybe, we are just too embarrassed to reach out for help.  It is also understandable that we just don’t want to talk to anyone about our past or current traumas, because, even though they are on our mind all the time, we really don’t want to relive them with someone else.

Honestly, it’s fears like this that can keep us from reaching out for help in the first place, and that is why it’s so important to find a therapist that offers a supportive and judgement free zone.

Stigma and fear of judgement from people in our lives can also keep us from getting the help we need. This is why when a person calls me for the first time, I let them know that we don’t see any use for judgement of stigma, and even though I am going to ask a bunch of questions, it’s not a gotcha’ game, I’m just trying to gather information to see what the best options are for them.  Many times, when I reassure them of this, there is a long pause and a release of breath.  This moment is when the healing begins.

The secret to getting help is overcoming the fear of reaching out.  You can Google “Find a Therapist”, and this will give you access to tools to find the right therapist for you.  You can also see a counselor by video on your phone, so don’t hesitate to look all around your state for a good fit.  You deserve judgement and stigma free help.

source https://www.lifesworkclinic.com/the-true-cost-of-stigma/

The Power of Journaling

Journaling is a time-honored approach to therapy and provides a way for us to process, plan and express ourselves in the times between seeing our therapist.

There are many different types of journaling, and, in this issue, I wanted to share some with you with the hopes of inspiring you to add this to your list of self-care options.

Types of Journaling:

• The Bullett Journal: This type of journaling involves using symbols, words or lists that help you keep track of the various areas of your life. These can be for to-do’s, goals or to track your habits.
• Writing Journals or “Daily Journals”: These are intended to allow you to write down your thoughts, feelings or reflections. They are freer flowing in structure.  They can be very therapeutic, and it can help bring clarity to how you are feeling and moving through you life and relationships.
• Nature Journaling: This type of journaling involves observing and writing down what you are noticing in the natural world around you, when you saw it or even making drawings or writing poems about it. Some people even collect specimens like leaves and flowers to keep in their Nature Journal.  This is especially great for those who really value their time outdoors.
• Productivity Journaling: This is to keep track of your goals, the steps you have to go through to achieve them along with celebrating the milestones you have successfully met. This is especially important for high achievers who love to take on large projects that if not tracked could easily turn out to be overwhelming.
• Visualization Journaling: This is also known as Dream Building. I am especially fond of this type of journaling, and it is used (daily in most cases) to write down the dreams you have about the outcomes you hope for in your life, your achievements and your successes in a manner that assumes that they are already manifested in your life.  This also doubles as a Gratitude Journal.

As you see, there are a lot of options for journaling, and adding this process to your self-care routine can be a wonderful gift to your life.

source https://www.lifesworkclinic.com/the-power-of-journaling/

The Power of Grounding Techniques

Have you ever felt like your mind was racing so fast that your body couldn’t keep up?  We usually call this feeling “anxiety”.  We feel disconnected and untethered.  The good news is that we can use simple grounding techniques to return us to our present moment.

“Grounding” is a set of tools we use to bring our awareness back to the here and now, and they are especially helpful in those moments of anxiety, worry or even emotional overwhelm. It is similar to other techniques such as mindfulness, cognitive restructuring and somatic awareness.

When we are feeling stress in one form or another, we activate our sympathetic nervous system.  Most of use know this as our “fight or flight”.  Grounding helps us activate our parasympathetic nervous system.  This is our “calm down” mode.  This state helps us regulate our emotions, reduce our tendency to ruminate and restore a sense of control.  This is especially helpful for people who have suffered trauma as grounding can help people anchor themselves safely in the present moment.

Grounding as a technique shows up in CBT, DBT and trauma-informed care.  It can also be a great tool in treating unbalanced anger.

Here are three simple grounding techniques:

1. 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: Take a moment to identify 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell and 1 you can taste.
2. Body Awareness: Pause to feel your feet on the floor or your back against the chair.
3. Breath Technique: Take a deep breath. Feel the tension in your body and relax those areas as you exhale.  This can usually be done in 2-3 intentional breaths.

Like all of the life-hacks we come across in our world, grounding takes time to master.  The great news about grounding is that it is a simple technique that is free and always accessible to you.  With enough practice, grounding can become  powerful part of your mental health toolkit.

Here’s my challenge to you: Try one of these grounding techniques today.  Pause to notice what shifts for you as you practice this.  What have you got to lose?

source https://www.lifesworkclinic.com/the-power-of-grounding-techniques/

The Power in Helping Others

Have you ever noticed how great it can feel when we help others?  It turns out that even small acts of service to others can also help us by boosting our own mental health.  This article will lay out the science, simplicity and the payoff from helping those around us.

The Science:

Mental health is deeply connected to our neurotransmitters.  It turns out that the most enjoyable brain chemicals are released when we do even the smallest of acts of service for others.  Chemicals like Dopamine and Oxytocin are considered part of the “helper’s high”, and it turns out there is a lot of science on how even brief, prosocial behaviors can help reduce stress, increase life satisfaction and lower depression levels.

The Simplicity:

Truth is that acts of kindness can be pretty simple.  This can look like holding a door for someone, texting words of encouragement to a friend or colleague, writing a thank you note to someone or donating unused items.

The important part is your intention.  Not all acts of service require big time or financial commitments.

For more than a decade, I went to a local nursing home to play music for the residents.  It cost me nothing, but it was deeply rewarding.

The Payoff:

Helping others can boost our sense of purpose and increase our feelings of self-worth.

It is also well known that switching your focus onto helping others can in turn reduce any over-focus we might be having on our own personal problems that might be renting space in our heads for free.

It also increases social connections, and this is true for even small, temporary interactions.  The science is quite clear on the benefits of social connection on mental health, well-being and longevity.

The Challenge:

My challenge to you is to try one small act of kindness or service today and to pay attention to how you feel when you are doing it as well as afterwards.  Just the act of brining your awareness to your environment to see where the opportunities for serving others exist can open our eyes to the wonderful effects being of help to others.  It’s truly fun just to look around to see who we can compliment or help out.

Please remember that kindness and being in service to others costs little, but the return on investment for your mental health is priceless.

 

 

source https://www.lifesworkclinic.com/the-power-in-helping-others/

The Art of Letting Go

What exactly do people mean when they talk about the power of “letting go”?  As a therapist, I often see people who are holding on to things that no longer serve them.  They hold on to negative emotions, unhealthy attachments and, worst of all, past grievances.  What if true and lasting freedom could be found in letting these things go?

There are a lot of reasons why we resist letting things go.  We fear change.  We find comfort in the familiar, and we can even build an identity around these attachments.  These can make it even harder to let go.  Hanging on to past hurts, judgements or other emotional pain can lead to anxiety, worry and even depression, and it can even lead to bitterness and resentment.  Let’s face it, none of these are good for our mental health.  The good news is that there are simple alternatives.

Here are a few ways to practice the art of “letting go”:

1. Acknowledge: whatever is renting space for free in your thoughts and heart. This is the easiest way to make an inventory of your hurts and grievances.
2. Use Journaling: to better understand your emotions and to work them out.
3. Shift Perspective: to see what your life can look and feel like without these issues.
4. Practice Self-Compassion: by understanding that letting go is a process and not simply a one-time event.
5. Seek Support: from a therapist, a supportive group or a trusted friend while holding the intention of letting these hurts go.

As we all gather ourselves up after another crazy holiday season, I want to leave you with one thing: Learning the art of “letting go” is a courageous act of self-care and healing.  You will feel lighter and freer than ever before.  It is a gift that keeps on giving, and it will radiate out to others in your life.

While there is no way to let go of everything all at once, I encourage you to take one small step in this journey by identifying and letting go of one hurt, judgement or grievance that is taking up more space in your thoughts than you would like it to.  Freedom is waiting on the other side.

source https://www.lifesworkclinic.com/the-art-of-letting-go/

Sugar and Our Mood

Picture this: You are out with friends at a restaurant.  The meal was amazing.  The company was even better, and the waitress comes by and asks a seemingly simple question: Would anyone like dessert?  Well, yah, of course, right?  I mean, you saw that picture of the cake with the ice cream on top while looking over the menu, and it really did look great.

Now, picture this: You are struggling.  Your anxiety has been worse lately, and you just can’t understand why.  What is going on?  It’s worse some days and better others.  Maybe, it’s just stress from life.  Maybe it’s that your mother had bad anxiety, and you were just unlucky enough get it from her?

You also feel a bit depressed.  Maybe it’s just all that’s going on.  Maybe it’s just like it was that other time, and you are thinking about seeing your doctor and going on a depression medication again.  Just for a little while.

While these types of feelings are normal parts of life, the truth is that diet and lifestyle do influence how we feel day to day.  In this case, the culprit is sugar.  Now, I am not suggesting that we never eat sugar.  I indulge in it from time to time, but when we consume sugar or a lot of carbohydrates regularly, we are flooding out body with glucose that it simply doesn’t need.  This can affect not only our physical health but also our emotional balance and mood.

Even though sugar and carbs give us a lovely feeling while we are eating them and immediately after, while our body is processing this out, we can see an increase in anxiety with all the extra energy floating around with nothing to do.  Once it is processed out, we can feel depleted and depressed.

Studies have shown that a diet low in excess sugar can help us reduce our anxiety and depression.  Many of my clients have tried a ketogenic diet with amazing results.  As with any dietary changes, you should consult with a health professional, but if all you have to lose is anxiety and depression, would you consider this worth it?

 

source https://www.lifesworkclinic.com/sugar-and-our-mood/