Socializing Just the Way We Like It

We all want to stay close to the people we care about…but our calendars and energy levels can say otherwise.

Why does socializing matter so much to us?

Healthy, uplifting, social connections support our mental health by reducing feelings of isolation, and our connections to our community can increase our overall resilience to life’s challenges.  When our socializing ends up being too much or too often, we can begin to feel like these obligations actually contribute to our anxiety and fatigue.  The key is for us to make our social connections intentional.  Quality over quantity is a key here.

Here are several tips:

Tip #1: Use “Low Stakes Check-Ins”

• Even a quick text, shared meme or voice message can maintain these important connections.
• These gestures don’t require a lot of time, but they do let others know we are thinking of them and care enough to reach out.
• Never underestimate the power of a “thinking of you” note, email or call.

Tip #2: Set Up and Maintain your Social Boundaries

• Let your friends know when you need space…preferably before you have reached your point of overload.
• Using gentle language helps like: “I’d love to catch up next week. This weekend, I’m recharging.”
• Saying “No” is not rejection on your part. It’s regulation.

Tip #3: If You Need To, Create a Personal Connection Schedule

• Set up a weekly or monthly rhythm for reaching out to the people you care about.
• This might look like a plan to check in with one friend on Sundays.
• These predictable touchpoints can help reduce decision fatigue and guilt for not reaching out previously or “too often” for your own mental health balance.

Tip #4: Try Working Socializing Into Your Open Times

• If you have a commute, you can call your friends on your phone hands free.
• I love to call people when I am doing the dishes.
• If you would be listening to a podcast, you can also use the time to call and connect with a friend.

Socializing and maintaining connections are fundamental to our mental health as people, but sometimes we have simply “peopled” enough and need our alone time.  Staying connected doesn’t have to drain you.  Even small, consistent gestures can nourish your relationships without overwhelming your calendar.

 

source https://www.lifesworkclinic.com/socializing-just-the-way-we-like-it/

How SAD Lights Can Boost Your Mood and Energy

Daylight Savings is upon us.  The clocks have fallen back, and the sunlight we rely on for our mental well-being is largely gone.

Living around the 45^th Parallel, like living anywhere, has its advantages and its disadvantages.  We all know the advantages like amazing weather even in the summer, not too hot with great sleeping weather at night and the majesty of the natural world all around us.  It sure is nice living here…except that during the winter the sun is in short supply.

This is all made worse by our dedication to the tradition of turning our clocks back an hour in the late Fall.  Even for us early risers, there’s just not enough sun to go around.  For many of us, the sun has already gone down by the time we are leaving our jobs, and this can get downright depressing!

Many of us suffer from low-grade or even severe depression during the late Fall and Winter months.  This is perfectly understandable given the small amount of sun we see.  We all know people who leave this area for different climates due to this.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a real thing.  It affects millions of people in Michigan, but the good news is that it is easily treatable.  Aside from supplementing Vitamin D3, I like to use a little helper called a SAD Light.  It is a 10,000 lumen light that sits on my desk while I work that is only about the size of a tablet.  In my counseling practice, I even sometimes hand it to my clients so that they can get the benefit of it during our hour or so long session.  They are relatively inexpensive, coming in at as low as $30 on Amazon, and they can provide some of the light we require during this season of darkness.

Using a SAD Light for as little as half an hour to an hour per day can mean the difference between being depressed and feeling energized during the winter months.  It is a simple and inexpensive bio-hack to get us through until we can again find ourselves sunbathing and swimming in Torch Lake!

source https://www.lifesworkclinic.com/how-sad-lights-can-boost-your-mood-and-energy/

Naming Our Emotions

There are times when life can feel overwhelming.  Our emotions can sometimes get the best of us, and at times we don’t even know why.  To manage our stress, it is helpful to actually take a moment to name the emotions we are feeling that led us to being overwhelmed.  When we name our emotions, they lose some of their intensity, and this helps us to reduce our overall stress.  I like to say all the time that when we name an emotion, we own it…instead of it owning us.

How does naming an emotion help reduce stress?  Well, when we are in a stress response, we tense up, thinking gets muddled and the frontal cortex becomes a hinderance instead of our friend.  When we get into our fight, flight or freeze mode, as we often do in times of stress or overwhelm, our amygdala has taken over our brain short-circuiting our ability to see life clearly.  In short, naming the emotion(s) helps us become grounded in the present, and when we do this we can get this clarity back and take some real steps in reducing our tendencies towards impulsivity, anxiety and reactivity.

There are real costs to unnamed emotions.  When we are not able to identify what emotions we are feeling in the moment, the emotions can fester and misdirect.  We end up snapping at someone when what we might actually be feeling is fear, worry, betrayal or helplessness.  There is a level of clarity that we experience when we name the emotions we are feeling.

Here is a simple, three step process for naming emotions:

• Pause and Notice: “What am I actually feeling right now?”
• Name it Precisely: Go beyond “bad” or “stressed” — Is it Disappointment? Shame? Loneliness?
• Validate it Without Judgment: “It makes sense I feel this way.”

You can also ask these questions:

• “Right now, I feel…”
• “What happened just before this feeling started?”
• “I there something I actually need right now?”

If you decide to make this change, remember that this is not a process of changing the feeling.  Resistance to any emotion only makes it more intense and makes it last longer…the exact opposite of what we really want.  However, when we name the emotion, we are taking the first and vitally important step to reclaiming our calm.

source https://www.lifesworkclinic.com/naming-our-emotions/

Move Your Mood: Why 10 Minutes of Daily Movement Makes a Difference

One of my favorite lines in a movie is from Shawshank Redemption when Andy Dufresne said, “Get busy living or get busy dying.”  When it comes to our mental health, movement such as low to moderate exercise can be a great ally in our mental wellbeing.

Moving our body unleashes the body’s endorphins, lowers cortisol and increases overall blood flow to the body and especially the brain.  This can help with naturally improving focus, energy and our emotional resilience.

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t actually need a gym membership or a perfect yoga flow to accomplish all these things.  While these are great, even a brisk walk around the block, gentle stretching, dancing in your kitchen or light chores can all count as mindful and intentional movement.  All these “get the juices flowing”.

The best things about movement are that it is usually free, accessible and adaptable to almost any ability level.  It just so happens that it also helps reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, improves sleep and creates a rhythm to your day when you put it in your schedule.

I also want to acknowledge that there can be barriers to anything.  For those struggling with pain, fatigue, obesity or low motivation, even short bouts of movement can feel daunting.  The key here is to start small and give yourself permission to build slowly and to go at your own pace.

I have tried a lot of different exercises over the years, and for me, non-impact exercises have always been my favorite.  These days, I really love my rebounder, a small, indoor trampoline.  I simply do 3-minute intervals on it 2 times a day.  Three minutes might sound short, but, let me tell you, it’s a workout.  The rest of my exercise is on our small farm.

If you are just starting out, try setting a timer for 10 minutes of walking while listening to your favorite music or podcast.  You could also try searching for “gentle yoga” or “beginners tai chi” on YouTube.  There are a lot of free options available these days.

The bottom line is that you don’t have to do it perfectly or intensely to get the mental health benefits of movement—you just have to start.  Your brain and body will thank you for every step you take.

source https://www.lifesworkclinic.com/why-10-minutes-of-daily-movement-makes-a-difference/